Dirty little Secret
by EnchantedToReadYou
Summary: It s one thing to be in a mental institutuion, because you are ill. It s another if you are there because you lied and are running to safe your life. Naruto is one of the later ones. He has two month to bring Sasuke to his brother or else... SasuNaru
1. Chapter 1

**Note: **Hey, before you read this I wanted to say that I know this idea with the mental institution isn´t really new, but since I like it and Naruto is not really ill, I thought why not post this. And to add something I don´t share the oppinion of Naruto about the patients, believe me. This will not take place in a hospital but more in a place where they can learn to live with their problems and illnesses. I don´t want to offend anyone with this and if I do I am terribly sorry. Really.

**Disclaimer: **Yes, I am Mashashi Kishimoto and love to write Fanfictions, since I can´t change anything as the creator of Naruto...WTF? ;D Of course the characters don´t belong to me. Who even needs those words, we all know yaoi isn´t very likely to happen in the manga. SADLY

**Rating:** M for later chaptors full of lemony fun :D

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><p><strong>Dirty little secret<strong>

_I need to get away. My feet seem to drag, while I run. They pile up dust behind me, that I can only assume is there, since I don´t dare to look back. `Never, no matter what you do, look behind you if someone is chasing you`. Isn´t that what every ones advice in movies is? Right in this moment I can guess why. The urge to do so, to see if the footsteps, that are as loud as my running heartbeat, are as near as they seem, is sheerly unbelievable._

_But I force to keep running. To not think about what will happen if they´ll catch me. The air that rushes in and out my lungs is icecold and hurts me. My mouth doesn't shut while breathing, which increases the pain until it can comete with my throbbing legs._

_A shot rings in my ears the next moment. This is the first thing that announces a change in the pattern I created while running. The pain in my right shoulder sets in slowly. It pulsates in time with my heart and numbs my whole arm. The road in front of my eyes blurs into a big mass of black bubblegum, or so it seems. I know they will get me._

_The chase is just part of their sick enjoyment. If they wanted they could have outran me any time. My legs are much shorter than theirs, caused by the big age gap. They will reach me any minute, and if they do, I am going to wish the bullet hit home right away. Either way I don´t stop. I can´t stop._

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I hesitated. The woman facing me didn´t look like a psychologist at all. Short brown hair, soft matching eyes and a purple long dress. Even the room looked like a living room, if it wouldn´t be for the tidied up desk in the middle of it. Brown eyes meet mine, probably trying to convey the feeling of understanding. Yeah right. If she would understand, she would know that everything I have told her in the last hour had been nothing but lies. My words, my behavior, hell even this resistance I now showed when being asked to show evidence, was faked.

Slowly, stopping halfway, I pulled off my long-sleeved shirt and locked my gaze with the carpenter floor. I waited for the expected hiss that sounded whenever someone saw my body. Or at least a moan, if it were the kinky ones doing so. The doctor only remained quiet. Soon soft footsteps sounded, making me shake for real. I hated hearing footsteps, tried to keep them out of my conscience if I could. But every time I failed, memories flooded his mind, that should have been buried deep inside him.

"Is it okay if I touch you, Naruto-san?" she asked and actor as I was, I bit my lip and nodded, the movement just big enough so she would see. I expected a rubbery hand on my body, which again reminded me of one of the men who had had an awkward kink. When only her bare, warm hand followed I was surprised. Always thought even psychologist had some kind of doctor-law or whatever it was called. Well if they did, this woman broke it.

"If you want, tell me what it feels like to have those scars touched, Naruto." God, why did she always use my name? I was very aware that my name was Naruto, no need to repeat it all the time. Oh those words burned on my tongue, but I suppressed the urge to speak my mind. Instead I concentrated on my body language again. This was important. I needed to do this, or I could possibly end up dead tomorrow. And believe me if it is your life depending on acting and lying, you fucking do it.

Her fingers started to trace the long burn scars that ran parallel on the low side of my back. This was one of the not so funny memories and this was just right to set the mood. So I started to speak. "It feels wrong. It makes me think of what he did to me. Of how much I hate him. Of how much he will suffer if I get him. I..I…it hurts." The last words were broken and I fled out of her touch towards the couch. With my hand I hid my breast, on which the skin nestled with the visible ribcage. For the first time I felt having nothing to eat was an advantage. "Can you call my brother? I need him right now. He understands me." I whispered. I only then recognized what we talked about before.

About me having recognized he died last year. For the record, I didn´t have siblings, but my file said otherwise. Sometimes living on the street, or in big flats with 30 people wasn´t too bad. Having someone who can give you a new identity seriously helped here. But now I had ruined everything. I searched her face for any hint that she discovered me as a liar. But again, she just smiled and sat down behind the desk again. "Naruto," she started and I innwardly rolled my eyes. "I really think it would be for the best if you would be treated constantly. I know a rehabilty center where you can work with teenagers your age. I´m sure you want to get help, since you came here by your own free will. But I think you´ll need more than just my help."

This time my eyes didn´t drop, since the goal I wanted to reach was right in sight. She believed me. Believed every lie I told. With her help, I could gain back my life. All I needed now was a little crying and begging for a place where I could find the one I was here for, and everything would be done.

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'My little brother'

He said I would recognize him right away. He told me much this night, and even if I wasn´t conscious enough to understand everything, one thing was clear. If I wouldn´t bring his brother back in two month, I would be dead meat. If it wasn´t for that, I wouldn´t be here in this nuthouse. After five minutes here, I was already sick of all those friendly faces and kind voices telling me everything about this place. About how it was different from mental hospitals..Blah. This shit didn´t matter at all to me. Even if it had been a mental hospital, instead of a big farm lookalike, everything was better than death.

"This is your room, Naruto." Why did even the attendant use my name in every sentence? Was that how mentally ill people worked? Only knowing you speak to them when addressing them? I would try in time. "Thank you." I said and managed a smile. A smile that was hard to maintain looking inside the boring room. White walls, big white curtains, white bed sheet. The highlight was the light brown of the closet and bed. Wow someone outdid himself with this. Probably an artist, calling it "boredom". But since it was better than the mattress I used to sleep on, I was sort of happy. I walked in and set my suitcase down on the floor. Through the opened window one could see a big beautiful park, which was deserted.

"Breakfast is at 8 am , lunch at 1 pm and dinner at 7 pm. If you are finished unpacking, you can call me and I will show you to the recreation room to get you to know everyone." With that he left me. But without me calling him he came half an hour later and made his promise come true. Together we walked through the halls, which were narrow and long. Dozen of doors were lined up on both sides of me and I wondered how many teenagers were in here with me. And if I would meet him right away. We came to a halt rather suddenly in front an opened door.

"Everyone, this is Naruto Yondaime, he will be staying here in room 44. Shikamaru, would you be so kind to introduce him to everyone and to keep him occupied?" The attendant said and I wondered why nobody looked at us, even after he had finished. I assumed everyone would want to know who the new kid was, but it seemed I was wrong. Everyone continued with what they had been doing. Good for me, no need to act overly much.  
>"Yeah." I got the answer from a boy my age. His dark, brown hair was pulled up in a high ponytail and he was bigger than me. And with the expression on his face, he could fit perfectly in my piece of art room. "Hi I´m Shikamaru, you are Naruto. Nice to meet you. Sit down and do what you want." His voice was as monotone as the voice on Google-Translator when you pushed the speak button. I liked him this instant, since he didn´t bother me at all. I did as he said and the attendant left me and a bunch of mentally ill people alone. This gave me time to look at them directly. One girl immediately caught my eye.<p>

Not because she was such a looker, but more because of the pink colored hair. Her roots were growing out in a sick looking brown on top of her head. Her green eyes looked sad and empty. And all she did was pull her knees to her breast and look down on the white table. I didn´t know much about mental illnesses, but I think she was at least depressive. And people like that make me want to cheer them up for some reason. Likely, because laughing really seemed to be medicine for her. But that wasn´t why I was here in first place. I scanned the room again, looked at the teenagers, who looked mostly fine to me. But then I met eyes that made me cringe inside.

In front of this Shikamaru sat a boy, a check board in front of him. Dark eyes that resembled his brothers too much to fool me, pierced mine. Skin as white as the walls and an expression as cold as them added to his appearance. This was him. 'My little brother Sasuke' as the voice of my memories now surfaced told me. He was the key to my freedom. And either he hated me right away, or he greeted everyone with a scowl. Under his gaze I felt like a piece in a grocery shop, being scanned at the pay desk at the supermarket. The only thing that was missing was the `beep`, when he was finished scanning me. When he finally looked away I felt like a ton of weight was lifted off me.

"Are you able to play chess?" This boy asked, letting me hear his dark, rich voice. This and his hair-style convinced me he was not Itachi. He was not going to kill me. The slight shiver went over with this. "I am." With that I slid into the space Shikamaru now left open willingly. Now I sat face to face with him taking in the beauty I knew he had. It seemed to run in the Uchiha family. Quietly we started placing our chess figures. I had the black ones; I thought would fit him much more. It had been ages since I last played chess and I was barely able to remember how every figure was allowed to move.

"Why are you here?" He placed one of his pawns in front of the one I had moved. "To get better." I answered, which wasn´t really a lie. My life would be better after I brought him to his brother. No one said anything about illnesses. I knew he scanned me again when I answered, so I tried to be convincing. "Have you got mental problems?" I moved my pawn, he his rook. I pondered, not knowing how to answer. What would someone with problems I described I had say? Would he admit it? Would he freak out?

"I guess, being here shows something, right?" I smirked, while he looked kind of sullen. I didn´t know why he was here either, only that he wanted to stay here. Certainly I would change his mind. Again we let our figures move, me without any further thought, him with a strategy I assumed. "What do you think about me?" he asked suddenlny.

Well this question wasn´t expected at all, and neither was his rook right in front of my king. I wasn´t sure, but neither could mean any good. I didn´t know how exactly this game worked, didn´t know he had almost won in such few rounds, so I just set the queen somewhere on the board. "I don´t know you for long, but I think we can be good friends. I kind of like you.", was my answer. Again, partly true.

In the next moment he hit my king with enough force to encounter my throat and causing the odd sensation I suppressed to like. My hand shot up instantly, rubbing the aching spot. When I looked up again, I saw the glare he gave me and the sharp lines that disfigured the handsome face, to one of hate. When he noticed me watching, his expression changed to the previous one, devoid of any hateful feelings. All eyes were on us now, even the green ones of the sad girl.

"You are a liar. Is it fun to look down on us, while being healthy? If you remain here any day longer, we will make your life a hell." His dark voice was now a mere hiss and I could feel anger from every corner of the room. They believed him. Even though they didn´t know me at all, they just stupidly believed what this emo said. But who could blame them; they were all a bunch of freaks. Freaks, who didn´t know who they messed with. If they thought those threats would do anything to me, they were wrong. The only thing I was afraid of was not completing the mission of bringing Sasuke to his brother.

"We will see. I´m not going to back off, just because you said so." I stated loud enough for everyone to hear. Just then I leaned in over the table, our heads now next to each other. Close enough that I could smell meds and sweet herbs on Sasuke and feel the heat of his skin. He didn´t flinch one bit when I whispered into his ear.  
>"Try convincing the doctors of me, I´m sure they will believe me rather than you, honey."<p>

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><p><em>Thanks for reading guys. :D I´d appreciate feedback, thoughts and critic opinions. It would really make my day if someone did that.<em>

Michiie


	2. Change

**Warning: I never cared for warnings. This is a story about homosexuals and what happens in this chaptor would be ruined if I would mention it in the beginng. Homophobics come at me, because I will crush you muhaha :D**

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**Change**

**And now it´s all the same**

**Another time and place**

**Repeating history and you´re getting sick of it!**

**But I believe in whatever you do**

**And I´ll do anything to see it through**

**Because these things will change, can you feel it now?**

**Those walls that they put up to hold us back, fell down!**

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><p><em>"Nii-chan! Nii-chan, my legs hurt. How much longer will we need to walk?" I ask, looking up to my brother. I crave for his attention. Want him to give me a piggyback ride, like he always does.<em>

_But he only squeezes my hand and drags me further along with him. His legs are moving faster in the alley, forcing me to make quicker steps as well. He promised me candy, for going with him to visit his friends and I wouldn´t be Naruto, if I would decline such a sweet offer. Our steps echo as the buildings surrounding us get narrower. Narrow enough that I fear they crush down on us._

_"I can´t walk any further. My legs hurt!" I yell angrily. As I try to pull my hand away, he doesn´t let me. He presses it hard enough, that I feel my tiny bones rub on each other and I yelp._

_My brother almost runs now and pulls me along, till we reach the end of the narrow alley and it spits us out into a big clear space. The empty area is as big as a house and mattresses and glass bottles litter the gray ground on the far side. The four walls I can only assume, haven´t always been full with graffiti. But I can´t spot the color they once were, so full of graffity they now are. Some are beautiful and I gaze at them in awe and some spell words, the adults have said are evil._

_One word I recognize, even though my reading ability is not very developed._

_Fuck!_

_I close my eyes to stop me from reading it over and over again, because someone really liked to write this evil word. As I open them again, a black-haired teenager and one with bleached hair, stand right in front of me._

_I shriek, surprised by their sudden appearance and grab with my free hand for my brothers shirt._

_"So this is your dear brother Kyub? He seems to fragile." Says the black-haired one. His dark eyes frighten me as he looks me up and down._

_"Well we are not blood related. Naruto, show some manners. Bow down to my friends. You will address him as "Boss" and do as he says." My brother points at the one looking at me and I don´t know what to do but gaze at him as well. Soon my head is painfully pressed down, so I am forced to bow. I know it is my brother, because our hands are no longer intertwined._  
><em>"How will he be addressed?" my brother asks and I gulp down in fear. His voice is unlike him. Cold as it is only when he insults the orphanage owners with evil words. I don´t want that to continue, so I do what he expects from me.<em>

_"Boss!"_

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I smiled as I remembered my childhood and the beginning of my death sentence. I have been so naïve. So desperate to be a good little brother, only to receive kindness and candy in return. Again I snickered without much humor, remembering what candy now meant to me.

Regaining my composure was only possible with the nurses analyzing me. Maybe laughing while being on your own is not as crazy as it gets in this big as nuthouse, but still worth worrisome gazes.

My thoughts are luckily soon occupied with the schedule that is pinned on the board in the kitchen. My name and schedule are marked orange; the color I stated as my favorite.

Looking at the other colors and their names, I searched for the Uchiha I soon found. His name was one of the few that held no color, only the black letters.

I almost laughed out loud about so much gayness showing in his chosen and prescribed activities. The ones he chose for himself were related to horses, taking care of the garden and chess. The prescribed ones contained of yoga, boxing and a one hour long walk in the park.

I had no particular preference for gender, as long as the sex kept me occupied and helped me drown my sorrow. So being with gay guys felt well. But imaging the stone-alike Sasuke riding and planting trees was still pretty hilarious. My smile soon wavered as he understood what that meant for me.

Getting close to that bastard was only possible if we shared more than being in that stupid group room. All in all, it wasn´t as hilarious imagining myself on a horse anymore. Well but nothing was worse than death. So if the queer wanted to play pony farm and take walks in the park, then that meant, I would love to do that too.

"How do you like the cottage so far?" my new psychiatrist asked. She was a small woman with short cut black hair and a simple face. To top that, she wore an old jeans and a gray pullover, as if she wanted to underline her already plain demeanor. I almost missed the old one, with the hot ass and the swaying hips.

"I…I don´t really know yet." My voice was quiet and wavering, as if the new surrounding intimidated me. My hands were in bunches in my orange shirt.

"Don´t worry, everyone needs time to adjust. Have you met the other patients? Have you even found a friend?"

What would a nutcase do? Would he be happy to have found a friend? Probably, because let´s face it, no one liked being around them. So I put on a small smile and finally looked into her eyes.  
>"I hope so. Sasuke-kun is a really nice person."<p>

"Oh? Wow you seem to be a very likeable person if Sasuke is the first one you would mention as nice."

"Why?" I asked, faking surprise. As if I would really need to ask that. He was worse than those doctors.

"Well, I shouldn't talk too much about other patients, because this is your time. But Sasuke likes to keep to himself and seldom talks, except for when he´s playing chess. Otherwise he may seem harsh and mean, but he is a really genuine and nice boy."

I nodded at the last part, showing I totally agree with her. Which I did not. She at least got what she was hoping for, comprehension.  
>"So if Sasuke is your friend," she continued. "you would probably like to share some of the group activities with him. How does riding or chess sound?"<p>

Eagerly I nodded and smiled. It sounded horribly good.

I continued behaving like a mental-case, until it was time for dinner. The perfect opportunity to talk to my new found friend. In the dining room was a long table, like those you saw only on thanksgiving pictures. Enough to fit in 14 young adults and a shrink at the end of the table. Immediately, I spotted the emotionless face of the Uchiha and looked for a free space to sit at. Unfortunately Shikamaru sat next to him and a Chinese bowl-headed guy opposite.

So that left me with the place next to the Chinese. In my hands I held a salad, two onigiri, a small bowl of rice and soup. It was hard to balance everything, but the nagging feeling of my empty stomach made it possible. That and me having the ability to pile. Again I was ogled suspiciously, but they all continued eating.

When I sat down I immediately started to dig in as much as possible. Food was something that we had only received when we completed our mission successfully. And even if I did that, then I needed to do something, they called "extra service". It was nothing I especially enjoyed, nor hated. The candy they gave me was enough to keep my hunger at bay and be good at the extra service.

It was a pleasant feeling being able to eat, while you were fully conscious. For a moment I even forgot my mission. But I couldn´t take more than the soup and the onigiri, before I felt stuffed, thanks to my underdeveloped stomach. I felt sick, but focused on the mission I was given.

"How does you dinner taste?" I asked, looking at Sasukes face. He didn´t show any signs of him having understood me, so I repeated myself.

"He never talks to anybody. Don´t feel saddened. You can talk to me. My dinner tastes fine. Do you still want to eat the rice? I could eat it. If you want, that is." The guy next to me said, while I could only watch his big ass eye-brows. He continued.

"Do you know how I got here? I was an athlete, but had a car-accident. Gangsters were after me and the police thought this was a good place to hide me. The gangsters also made those scars on my arms."

Without me asking, he showed me his sliced wrists. At first I got nervous, afraid he knew more about those mentioned gangsters. And a part of me was happy. Happy that I was not the only one with scars they caused. But anyone could guess that those red scars and scratches on his wrist were his own doings.

He was a pathetic loser who wanted to end his life, while I clung to mine so desperately. I hated those people the most. But that was not the quiet, damaged Naruto who would say this, so I nodded and said a few words of pity.

"Sasuke, would you like to play another round of chess?" I tried again, ignoring the Chinese who wanted to continue annoying me.

"Hey. I am talking to you."

Again he ignored me and I started to feel neglected and annoyed. I switched to repeating the last sentence over and over again, till the slow murmur that had surrounded the table soothed. Everyone seemed to listen to me and every time I repeated myself, I felt my voice get louder and sweeter. When he finally looked at me, my voice had reached the level of sugar-cubes.

The pale lips of his finally started to open, to form words, that never reached my ears. I didn´t consider myself as someone knowing how to read lips, but I was fairly certain that he had mouthed the words, a well known someone had once chosen as his favorite words.

**Fu-ck off!**

I instantly shut up and counted my heart beats. After 35 beats, I no longer heard the loud sound of my enraged body and mind. 35 heartbeats, that was how long it took to stop the trembling of my hands. To not run into my new room to grab some candy. It was kind of ironic that Sasukes brother had been the one, to teach me how to lessen the rage that sometime threatened to overwhelm me.

**Itachis Rule #6. DO NOT HARM HIM!**

I really tried not to. I really did. But when we all were allowed to get up, yeah we needed their fucking allowance, I tailed him. I wasn´t sure he noticed me. His room was in the opposite direction to mine, the hall mirrored mine. I knew he heard me, when he turned around so sudden, that I crashed face first into his head. We both groaned in pain. His groan like a whisper, short and low, mine louder, resembling a hiss.

"Why are you following me? What do you want from me?" He asked, and a shiver ran through me. His words and face were cold as ice.

"I just want to be fri.." I started, but a hand harshly slapping against my mouth, stopped me.  
>"Don´t lie. You don´t know why I am here, but if you knew, you would understand that lying is useless against me."<p>

For a while we remained in our positions, The only thing changing was the depressed looking girl from yesterday, that passed us without staring.  
>That and his fingernails that suddenly started digging into my cheeks. I imagined them running over my scars and opening them. A thing Itachi enjoyed doing, when I tried to run away from them.<p>

At first I tried to pull away, or shout at him, but his grip tightened his other hand soon around my neck. As the attempt failed, I tried the only thing that came to my head. I mustn't hurt him, but saliva never hurt anybody before.

Slowly I opened my mouth as wide as possible, my tongue peering them open even further. Slowly it reached out and started to lick at the inside of his hand. A slight taste of the soap he used after dinner was still there I realized, and not much of the salty mixture I expected. He flinched, only for a moment that was as short as a summer-breeze. But his hand never leaved my face. He is too stubborn, I realized. Something we both had in common. Surely it was one of the rare things.  
>"I will take my hand of your filthy mouth, if you promise, you won´t do anything stupid anymore. No more lying or I will leave more marks on you than my fingernails. Nod if your stupid brain was able to understand those simple instructions."<p>

My first plan was to remain still and see which one of us had more stamina. But that word got me to think a thought I would enjoy even more when following it through. So I nodded and slowly he lifted his hand and wiped it not on his, but on my jeans.

Before he got to do more, I pulled him towards me on his neck. My hand was now resting on the same spot his one had been on me. But unlike him, my second hand only framed his face, as I pressed my lips to his. Quickly pulling away, I once again kissed him, opened the slight entrance of his moth even further as I let my tongue find his. In this moment I did not compare him to Itachi. The only thing I thought about was, if he also tasted the soap.

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><p><strong>Background Info:What I wanted to convey wit the first part and the present story, was how much Naruto changed. Candy does mean something dfferent to him now, and I hope it´s obvious what that is ;D As well as the "evil words" no kid should use, wich he now, of course uses. If you have further questions, please ask any way possible :D<strong>

**I Know no one really cares to read Author notes...except for me sometimes ;D But if you read this, I would be sooo grateful to get more feedback because it takes hours for me to write this and minutes for you to write the likes and dislikes you have for this story. So yeah. That would keep me motivated. or at least one review with more than saying you liked it. :D **


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